Lost but found

Evening Prayer Brunswick Heads, 29 March 2018, oil on canvas board, 30 X 25 cm

I came across this unusual little picture a few  weeks and was surprised and happy because I had put in a junk pile while trying free up some space around my house. There are so many of these paintings, many of which I fear are pretty awful so I have been culling them periodically. They come from the very start of this series when I felt half-blind. This one was going to be thrown into the bonfire when I took a double-take of it in my left hand and put it aside. 

So, what is it about this small thing that appealed to me six years after painting it? First of all, not only does a painter need distance away from a picture but the picture too, needs time away from the painter. Somewhat like a long break with a friend or lover, each party requires a sufficient time and space to see reality more clearly. Because faults abound in every separation, apologies and forgiveness naturally ensue, and in the Art world it's not too different because works of art are like some wines which either improve in time or quickly turn to vinegar. But if one is lucky enough to understand this fickle transaction, they may have an uncanny advantage over the rest of us. 

So, what does this small image say to me that it was saved from a bonfire? It speaks to me of an intimacy that I really appreciate in any painting, but only now do I see why I didn't get at the time; It's just too simple, and it says practically nothing. 

As the painter, just a years ago, I must have been ruthlessly critical of this for wanting to destroy it. Actually, I think it's also a particular sort of image that I could only 'get'  now, but not then because it means that I've grown and that my sensibilities have been enlarged in every direction. I suppose this is good thing to know about oneself because it means that I am still evolving. 

If we're creative and really lucky, I think our minds will continue to open up and reach outward as we age and spread wide like the horizon.

Conversely, other minds can gradually shrink over a lifetime and are reduced like the aperture on a camera lens to receive less light. So unlike those which open to the wide angle of nuance and uncertainties in life, others appear to become brittle and fixated. 

So yes, this is an inconclusive image, not anything of importance, but a fragment of an idea of little substance. If I didn't know what it was, I might never understand it. I actually like this reaction to a painting. It means that I can handle uncertainties and even more nuance the older I get. It resonated with me, and I think that's the whole point of Art because I see in it a question, not an answer.